Longing

I guess I didn't realize what waiting for your child to come home would feel like...Everyday (and we have just started the process) I can't help but feel like there are "littles" missing from our lives. The next part of the story from the day of our interview goes a little like this...

Thankfully, Pam and Dave were here to watch Noah, Foster and Lucas (a little boy, born the same day as Foster, I call my "adopted during the day son"- I am providing daycare for him) during our interview. When I got back, it was off to rush to LEGO class. Thanks to good friends Krystle Williams and Michelle Fairrow for organizing and putting it together. My mom called on the way and I told her as much as you know from reading the last post. When I told her about Liv's blog and that I thought we were going to investigate further adoption of something other than a "healthy domestic infant" she shared with me that she knew we were "going to adopt from Africa." I quickly said, "well that is strange because I do not want to go to Africa." Fast forward a few more hours. We were off to a Gator Gymnastics meet for Noah and his Cub Scout Den to go to. I briefly talked to someone else and she said, "I know this is going to sound strange, but when I was reading a post Liv did the other day, I had a strong feeling 'That is Ashley's baby.'" She was talking about a little girl whose mom died and she and her brother were abandoned by the rest of their family. This is a post from Liv's FB wall about the children, made by someone else, "These two children are the ones whose mother recently died and the extended family will not take. It is thought the father beat the mother when she arrived to tell him she became "born again". She suffered from chest problems which may have been caused by the father's abuse." Derrick and Peace are their names. They are thought to be about 4yrs and 2 yrs.

I don't know why those two thoughts from those two people were shared with me that day. Maybe God just wanted to move our hearts off of our plan and onto his. Maybe it isn't about Peace and Derrick at all. I just can't help but think about what the six (me and 4 boys- Noah, Derrick, Lucas and Foster- and Peace) would be doing during the day, while Matt is at work. How the two of them would fit into our family. The bunk beds the boys could share, how Foster would become a big brother and love on his little sister. How Noah would be the "leader of the pack" and how much fun he would have teach Derrick about loving to read and drive and play board games. How much fun they would have chasing each other through the house and around the yard. The games our first two would learn from Derrick and Peace and their way of life in Uganda. How I could tell them stories about them being rescued because they have a Father in Heaven that cares more about them than anyone on this earth ever could and how their birth mom also, obviously, loved them. And how she loved Jesus too, and that they would get to see her again someday. I can imagine the stories we would read and learn about Uganda and I can also imagine taking them back to Uganda to visit their roots. And to know that even though we live half way around the world, there will always be a part of them there and that they should feel special for that. But most of all, I can imagine holding all my babies, and having them squeeze into my lap, to read a book or pile in the hammock for some cuddles. I know those are super romanticized dreams...and most days wouldn't be so serene. Our lives would be crazy and there would be really hard days. But, I figure when you are family as long as you have each other, you really have everything. You can see Derrick and Peace here. I hope you will take the time to look at their beautiful faces and pray for them and for us. And for the staff at Okoa, no matter what children we end up adopting!