Love Equals

I am on a mission to save ev-er-y penny we have for our adoption. However, we do have 2 children in our family currently who I am also making a conscious effort to make sure they don't feel like we are not doing this or that "because of" our adoption. The other day, Noah was frustrated by the fact that there was so much garage sale stuff on our porch that he couldn't run and play like normal. I totally sympathize with the feeling because over 400 sq ft of our house has stuff for our garage sale in it. I explained to him that if he were on the other side of the world, he would want us to do everything we could to bring him home even if it meant being a little bit uncomfortable for a little while. He agreed.

I have to find a balance in teaching our bios why we are sacrificing right now and making sure they don't resent it either. Such a strange thing to even think about... We (well at least my household, but I am going to venture to say Americans- correct me if I am wrong- which I am sure I have been once or twice in my life) can be upset by giving up extras in our lives, like eating out, entertainment, a large living space, new clothes, new toys, etc. because we are so used to having the brand new things, fun times, privacy, that we make excuses to ourselves and justify why we should have them.

The coolest part about this whole thing is what we are learning about joy and our God! It is amazing that our joy does not come from our things, our house, our entertainment. Those things all bring momentary pleasure...fleeting quickly. Relationships are what really matter and they bring joy, meaning and love into our lives that we would otherwise have missed. Material things get in the way of experiencing true joy and happiness at least for my family. We get focused on something we want. It makes it hard to see the relationships in our lives. I don't like who I am when I let "things" (facebook, texting, emails, movies, books, new clothes, new furniture, new jewelry, new decorations, etc. etc. etc.) become idols. When they become first before our relationships, it breaks down our family. It breaks down my relationship with God. It is Satan's wish that we continue to allow those items to rule our thoughts, our resources- both time and money.

It isn't always easy to give up the "American Dream" of having the best, nicest, newest, biggest, most fashionable...but as I am learning (slower than most)...it is worth it! This adoption has been eye opening for me to look at where I am spending my time and my money. Those two things really point us to where our love is. And for me that was totally heartbreaking. Is God breaking your heart too?