My boys

Let me let you in on a secret: I have two awesome little boys that I am certain were a gift from God, who loves me more than I can imagine, and who gave me these boys (and my husband) so that I have a daily reminder of how wonderful His love for me is.

Let me start with the little one: 

Foster Everett- 3 years old- just had his birthday. He loves to make people laugh and has become super affectionate as of late. Many times throughout the day he will come running up to me and say, "momma, I wanna div you a tiss and a hud...that was a good tiss and hud." He does silly things to captivate an audience and will laugh loudly anytime someone else is laughing. He loves to point out people's eye color and is very excited about how his eyes are blue like daddy's. Foster loves to have his teeth flossed and listen to daddy's Christian rap music super loud. He loves to do anything and EVERYTHING his brother is doing. The pediatrician said today that his speech is crystal clear especially for a three year old. He is 36.5 inches tall (10-25%) and 34 pounds(25-50%). For a reference, Noah was 37.5 at 3 years, 9months old!

Noah Matthew- 7 years old. He is so smart, reading 6th grade recommended reading titles. He is a great big brother and is going into second grade. His first adult tooth came in behind his baby tooth, so he has 'shark teeth' in his very own mouth ;) Noah is caring, sweet and compassionate. He always is concerned for others and how they feel. If he wrongs you, he is quick to apologize and quick to forgive. He loves to play board games and Mario kart on the wii. He loves playing to win and is pretty good at achieving that! He is the ring leader everyday at playtime and usually facilitates games being made up. At his check up today he was 44" (3-5%) and 43.5lbs (10-25%).

I wanted to catch up a bit on pictures of the boys. I have been behind in everything, but that is ok! We are loving life together here in the Bolin household! The pictures are from our Fourth of July tradition. So fun to see the progression!



July 2013



July 2013



4th of July, 2012

July 4th, 2012

July 4th, 2012

 

4th of July 2011

 

Kingdom Woman by Tony Evans and Chrystal Hurst

I received a copy of this book for free to review. I am so glad I did! This book pairs very complimentary with another book we were using in our small group study. This book, Kingdom Woman, by Tony Evans and Chrystal Evans Hurst, helps show God's love in obvious and tangible ways. It reminds us that God uses the imperfect in his perfect plan. The authors remind us that "Happiness is...a benefit- not the goal or driving force of destiny for a kingdom woman" (Pg6). Evans also points out that, "the church has settled for buildings and programs instead if teaching men and women how to access the authority of the kingdom" (pg7). So many times I have felt devoid I that area, but at a loss for what to do to fix the issue of the focus being on "doing" church instead of operating in the kingdom and "being" the church, or bride of Christ. My husband and I are trying to work in the direction of operating from a kingdom perspective. We want our desires to be second to the ones God has for his Kingdom. It isn't an easy choice, especially in a consumer driven society. But as this book and others in the kingdom point out, our blessings are not all for our consumption. That is something the deceiver has been good at deceiving well meaning Christians to think. I look forward to re-reading this and doing it as a study with a friend or two for some good discussion. 

Q & A with the authors of this book!- On why this book, what it is about, why it is different, etc.

Author Memes- Good quotes from the book to get a feel for what it is about.

Ann Voskamp- Angry

"I’m angry at sin that smothers children and selfishness that steals human dignity and apathy that infects the hearts of the comfortable. And I pound my own chest.

I’m angry at me.

Angry at how much I want comfortable more than I want Christ.

Angry at how much I want to forget that grimy boy leaned over a garbage heap, wiping his fingers along the inside of food tray, looking for anything left. I’m wildly angry that I want to forget the struggle of the poor so I can pin the next pretty idea on Pinterest.

I’m angry that I’ve seen and I’m ashamed that I am angry and I’m angry that I’ve seen and now I am responsible. More than respons-able – we’re response-bound. Once we have seen the poor, we are responsible — we will make a response. As long as your heart is beating, there’s no such thing as unresponsive. We all look into the face of the poor and it’s either Yes, I will help. Or no, I won’t.

There’s no getting off the hook." [Ann Voskamp]

fundraising update

We are at $6500 so far! I am so amazed by the support and generosity we have been shown by friends and family thus far. We are so thankful for every sacrifice you and your families have made for us. It has meant so much. I wanted to post some pictures from the events we have had so far. I also added another tab at the top- budget friendly ideas- and updated the adoption timeline.

Donations dropped off in our carport

Presale in the living room

Sorting the day before the sale

The sale in full swing

The boys running the lemonade stand

Family at the Ice Cream Social

Ice Cream Recipes

Toppings galore!

Mixin' station ready

Mix-master Dan ready for some action

Flyer from Pizza Ranch Event

Love Equals

I am on a mission to save ev-er-y penny we have for our adoption. However, we do have 2 children in our family currently who I am also making a conscious effort to make sure they don't feel like we are not doing this or that "because of" our adoption. The other day, Noah was frustrated by the fact that there was so much garage sale stuff on our porch that he couldn't run and play like normal. I totally sympathize with the feeling because over 400 sq ft of our house has stuff for our garage sale in it. I explained to him that if he were on the other side of the world, he would want us to do everything we could to bring him home even if it meant being a little bit uncomfortable for a little while. He agreed.

I have to find a balance in teaching our bios why we are sacrificing right now and making sure they don't resent it either. Such a strange thing to even think about... We (well at least my household, but I am going to venture to say Americans- correct me if I am wrong- which I am sure I have been once or twice in my life) can be upset by giving up extras in our lives, like eating out, entertainment, a large living space, new clothes, new toys, etc. because we are so used to having the brand new things, fun times, privacy, that we make excuses to ourselves and justify why we should have them.

The coolest part about this whole thing is what we are learning about joy and our God! It is amazing that our joy does not come from our things, our house, our entertainment. Those things all bring momentary pleasure...fleeting quickly. Relationships are what really matter and they bring joy, meaning and love into our lives that we would otherwise have missed. Material things get in the way of experiencing true joy and happiness at least for my family. We get focused on something we want. It makes it hard to see the relationships in our lives. I don't like who I am when I let "things" (facebook, texting, emails, movies, books, new clothes, new furniture, new jewelry, new decorations, etc. etc. etc.) become idols. When they become first before our relationships, it breaks down our family. It breaks down my relationship with God. It is Satan's wish that we continue to allow those items to rule our thoughts, our resources- both time and money.

It isn't always easy to give up the "American Dream" of having the best, nicest, newest, biggest, most fashionable...but as I am learning (slower than most)...it is worth it! This adoption has been eye opening for me to look at where I am spending my time and my money. Those two things really point us to where our love is. And for me that was totally heartbreaking. Is God breaking your heart too?

Bedtime Stories and prayers

 

Super excited to be chosen to review books for Tyndale publishers! This is the first book I have reviewed.

 

Pros: I just loved the the wonderful illustrations in the book. I also really liked the poem type stories that talked about all the things that went on in the day and how the child is probably feeling now. There are 4 different stories within the one cover. I liked that because I feel like it was setting my kids up for learning how to read "chapter" books because you read until the next heading and stop for the night. The stories also talked about God and how he made nighttime and how he loves them just as they are.

 

Cons: I wished the book would have provided a table of conents. I was disappointed when our book mark got taken out and I had to thumb all the way through to find the story we were on. I also thnk for very young kids, the poem/stories were a bit long. 

 

I recieved no compensation for providing this review, but recieved a copy of the book for free.

Penny Pinching Pirate Party!!!

So as you all know now, we are adopting! And since we have a $22-28 thousand dollar adoption bill in the next few months, we are saving all the money we can. Both Matt and I have always been pretty frugal, but I just LOVE the way this party went and HAD to share with you what we did to keep the budget LOW but the FUN high!

The first thing I had to do (much to my anxiety and dismay) was limit the number of guests. I allowed Noah to choose 5 friends to invite and we only invited those five friends and their families. It was hard for me because I am probably the ULTIMATE extrovert, combined with a passion for hospitality and an extreme concern for relationships and feelings within those relationships...so who do you leave out!?!? Noah chose his friends Brilei, Evan, Landon, Micah, Ty, who came with their siblings Presslei, Lydia, Bella, and Nasyra.


Of course I visited everyone's favorite crafty/party ideas site for hints- my pinterest account!

I found game ideas, food ideas, even free pirate party printables from poofycheeks blog.

For food we had:

Peg Legs aka Corndogs- $10

Boat Sails and Seaweed Salad (Chicken Satay Pasta)- $5

Dry Bones: Pretzel Sticks- $2

Dead Men Fingers, actually Sweet Potato Fries- $2

Balled Watermelon and grapes posed as Cannon Balls- $5

Treasure Map Birthday Cake- $6

Cousin Love

Fair Lady Nasyra and Cap'n Micah

Pirates enjoying the grub

We also had Pirates Grog to drink which had gummy worms frozen in lemon-lime sports drink floating in the rest of the punch!- $6

The first Pirate-y activity we did was getting our pirates some facial hair and/or scars, bandanas and eye patches. This activity cost about $3- black face paint and q-tips, $1 for 2 bandana packs at the dollar store and $5 for 6 eye patches at the party store. Total for this was about $19

The next activity w did was Walk The Plank. We had all the items we needed. We thought putting the board across the little pool added to the fun of the plank. Cost- $0

The birthday boy and his brother went first...there is nothing Noah does that Foster isn't right on his heels trying to do it too!

The Pirate Parents were also made to walk the plank...our costumes were from being the Flintstones for Halloween! Isn't it great to get to use them again?

Cute lil' Pirates in training

Presslei came as a Pirate Princess

Next was the treasure hunt

The treasure hunt was done with clues written on packing paper. The first clue was "delivered" by a pirate. The other clues had been hidden in the rooms. The treasure hunt took the kids inside and outside of our house.

The clues were as follows:
1st-
Land Blubbers, Ho!
A treasure Ye must find
Ye next clue is nearabouts where
We seafarers keep the vaccuum
Good luck and remember:
Dead Men Tell No Tales!

2nd-
The next clue
is not ye far
look where ye landblubbers
parks ye car...

3rd-
T' next spot ye should look
is where Pirates might like t' cook...
if Pirates did like like anythin'
besides finding ye treasure

4th-
Ahoy!!!
Ye be now wit' the toys!

5th-
Sorry Cap'n
This map got some scorch
(we burned a hole in the middle)
Ye treasure ye will find
on the porch...

At the end of the hunt this is what the kids found:

I made the treasure box out of a small cardboard box. For the lid, I cut one panel off and attached it to the other with tape. It gave the lid the rounded look. I put a graham cracker box in the bottom so the box would look full. I covered the box in packing paper. We gathered all the Mardi Gras beads from the house and candy that we got two weekends before at Easter. We also put $6 worth of change in. The plastic coins were 100/$6 and I was not going to pay that much money for fake money, so we used real coins instead. I put coins both in the box and out. The kids attacked this treasure box!

Pillaging the Treasure Chest

The entire Pirate-y crew!

The entire cost for this party was $55. That fed 25 people and includes party favors. I think it was a huge hit with the kids and we had a great time!

Why Uganda?

So the question keeps coming up- "Why Uganda?" I will probably not be very good at answering this because I am not sure we are entirely sure, but this is what we do know about why...

First, you can go back and see this post and read the one before it also if you feel so inclined. Many of the "reasons" are in those two posts.
Second, we know the God we serve cares not only about the people here in this country, but also about people in the rest of the world! Of course the most "famous" verse in the Bible or the one that is taught and talked about a lot...
John 3:16, "for God so loved the world, that he gave his only son..." Certainly includes more than America.
John 4:9-10, "4:9 By this the love of God is revealed in us: that God has sent his one and only Son into the world so that we may live through him. 10 In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins
Acts 10:34-35 reports, "Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism ³⁵ but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right."
So interesting that Peter, a Jewish man, would be recorded as including all nations, but American Christians can so easily forget about the rest of the world. But God is so much bigger than just America.
Third, the verse that most stands out to me is James 1:27 when I think about adoption, "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." Orphan is defined as, "a child deprived by death of one or usually both parents."
There are over 2 million Orphans in Uganda and almost half of them are orphaned because of the AIDS crisis. How sad is it that Christians don't see this and many other countries who have similar statistics and answer the call to adopt. God himself adopts us as his own, "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:14-16. It seems so clear to me if God chooses to adopt us, we should do as we see the father doing. Will it be easy for us to do? No, probably not. But it was not easy for Jesus to go to the cross and die for all of my unrighteousness either. 

One of the hardest parts so far has been fear. Fear of the financial costs, fear of traveling, fear that something will go wrong and I will end up heart-broken, fear of what people will say/think/do that would hurt one of my kids, fear that our children (all of them) will have a hard time adjusting, fear of the language barrier, and the list could go on. But I do not have to live in that fear. I can give all of that to Him, who created adoption, so that I could live. I stand in his promises." For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Tim 1:7.

I have a spirit of Power, love and sound mind! So awesome. Thanking Him for that. So we want to ask you, "Why NOT Uganda?" Why not bring an orphan into a family. I say, "Satan, get out of my way! I am coming to get my babies!" After all, the most dangerous place to be is between a mother and her babies!

Adoption updates and how this started

Well we are two more interviews down, two physicals, a few more forms and $1000 to go on our home study. What is a home study you ask? Well, I am so glad you asked so that I can let you know how benign and un-scary it really has been thus far.

2011
Aug 2011- Matt tells me he is ready to start talking about an adoption

2012
March 2012- Matt attends an adoption informational meeting with an agency and also finds out about other agencies in our area for domestic infant adoption
Rest of 2012- We talked about, prayed about, thought about, debated about and finally decided to partner with Catholic Charities to begin our adoption journey

2013
January 24, 2013- God was changing my heart in a big way. He was moving to get us off of our plan and onto his. You can read more about that towards the bottom of this post.
January 25, 2013- We meet the social worker and have our first interview. During the interview, she told us that 5 months ago they had no waiting families. Now they have thirteen and they did 6 placements last year. The math for that figures out to about a 2.5 year wait! Because we also have biological children, it would probably make it longer than that. Later that day, I received more confirmation that The Lord had other plans for us. You can find more about that on this post.
January 31, 2013- submitted our child abuse and background check. Also were fingerprinted, so I guess we are in the system now- ha!
February- March 2013- researching more about international adoptions and filling out the
ENORMOUS paperwork packet...ok so it was only about 20 pages long...but still... Also, sometime in this timeline, I heard Matt tell one of our friends we were adopting from Uganda! My heart lept. He had never actually said it. I was so excited!
March 13, 2013- Matt and I had our individual interviews. We still need to have our physicals done. Both of the kids medical paperwork is in. Our background checks came back. Also, emailed agency that we found out about that does Ugandan adoptions.
March 21, 2013- Spoke to the agent at Florida Home Studies and Adoptions (FHSA). You can visit their site for more stats on Uganda and some information to think about concerning the orphans of Uganda. We met their first criteria and then we got a copy of their fee schedule. It was comparable to everything I had researched about adopting from Uganda. We decided to go with this agency.
April 2, 2013- Agent from FHSA called back. We are placed on a waiting list. She also tells me about Ruth. A four year old girl who has been through her first failed adoption by a family who felt they could not finish. She has a clean medical history and has been left. Broke my heart!

We don't know if Ruth is ours or not, but will you please be praying about our adoption and that the journey would be a clear and precise one? We know we are called to adopt, we just don't know who...

It's a Jungle in there

Well really a safari... I was able to sketch the animals and Krystle added her artistic help and fixed a few proportions. We are probably half done...but here is the progress....

Longing

I guess I didn't realize what waiting for your child to come home would feel like...Everyday (and we have just started the process) I can't help but feel like there are "littles" missing from our lives. The next part of the story from the day of our interview goes a little like this...

Thankfully, Pam and Dave were here to watch Noah, Foster and Lucas (a little boy, born the same day as Foster, I call my "adopted during the day son"- I am providing daycare for him) during our interview. When I got back, it was off to rush to LEGO class. Thanks to good friends Krystle Williams and Michelle Fairrow for organizing and putting it together. My mom called on the way and I told her as much as you know from reading the last post. When I told her about Liv's blog and that I thought we were going to investigate further adoption of something other than a "healthy domestic infant" she shared with me that she knew we were "going to adopt from Africa." I quickly said, "well that is strange because I do not want to go to Africa." Fast forward a few more hours. We were off to a Gator Gymnastics meet for Noah and his Cub Scout Den to go to. I briefly talked to someone else and she said, "I know this is going to sound strange, but when I was reading a post Liv did the other day, I had a strong feeling 'That is Ashley's baby.'" She was talking about a little girl whose mom died and she and her brother were abandoned by the rest of their family. This is a post from Liv's FB wall about the children, made by someone else, "These two children are the ones whose mother recently died and the extended family will not take. It is thought the father beat the mother when she arrived to tell him she became "born again". She suffered from chest problems which may have been caused by the father's abuse." Derrick and Peace are their names. They are thought to be about 4yrs and 2 yrs.

I don't know why those two thoughts from those two people were shared with me that day. Maybe God just wanted to move our hearts off of our plan and onto his. Maybe it isn't about Peace and Derrick at all. I just can't help but think about what the six (me and 4 boys- Noah, Derrick, Lucas and Foster- and Peace) would be doing during the day, while Matt is at work. How the two of them would fit into our family. The bunk beds the boys could share, how Foster would become a big brother and love on his little sister. How Noah would be the "leader of the pack" and how much fun he would have teach Derrick about loving to read and drive and play board games. How much fun they would have chasing each other through the house and around the yard. The games our first two would learn from Derrick and Peace and their way of life in Uganda. How I could tell them stories about them being rescued because they have a Father in Heaven that cares more about them than anyone on this earth ever could and how their birth mom also, obviously, loved them. And how she loved Jesus too, and that they would get to see her again someday. I can imagine the stories we would read and learn about Uganda and I can also imagine taking them back to Uganda to visit their roots. And to know that even though we live half way around the world, there will always be a part of them there and that they should feel special for that. But most of all, I can imagine holding all my babies, and having them squeeze into my lap, to read a book or pile in the hammock for some cuddles. I know those are super romanticized dreams...and most days wouldn't be so serene. Our lives would be crazy and there would be really hard days. But, I figure when you are family as long as you have each other, you really have everything. You can see Derrick and Peace here. I hope you will take the time to look at their beautiful faces and pray for them and for us. And for the staff at Okoa, no matter what children we end up adopting!

????

So, I know I am so inconsistent in posting. I do have pics etc that I want to upload. In fact, here are a few...

Foster eating his apple...I think this was his first whole apple experience and as you can tell, he loved it!

The boys playing in the leaves with the neigbors.

Which brings me to this pic...This was our gift from Pam and Dave for Christmas! SO perfect!

We had our first adoption interview yesterday!!! Here are a few more details about how it went...

Our interview went well, but much has changed in the last 24 hours that I wanted to update everyone. Last night I could not sleep. It was like the night before that big exam, or presentation in school, and you have the jitters and all you can think about is tomorrow and your mind won’t rest -or the night before Christmas- or a trip to Disney World. You are so excited thinking about the things that are to come that you can’t stop thinking about tomorrow. Or maybe I am the only one who that ever happens to… Anyway, I was having a hard time sleeping when I happened upon my sister’s friend’s blog. I read the most recent post about her son. Take a minute to read her post here. Go ahead, I’ll wait. My heart broke when I read about Liv’s son and knowing there are so many orphans here on this earth, that are going through this life without a mommy or a daddy. Without a family to call their own. I couldn’t get his beautiful smile out of my head.

Because I was so moved, naturally I read the next post. Again, go read it. I can wait... Since Matt was sleeping in the bed next to me, I didn’t watch the video posted at the end because I didn’t want to wake him. My heart was hurting for orphans. I went to my bible reading and the first verse I read was “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 NLT. Wow…really? Did I just read what I think I just read?

With the lights out, I laid in bed and still could not get Gideon’s huge smile out of my head. I think many of us would have thought of Gideon as “unadoptable” given his “condition.” But I think God was using Gideon to get to me. The next morning, I couldn’t get my words out before the tears started to flow. We were rushing to get ready but I told Matt that I wasn’t sure we would be adopting a “perfect” little infant like we had planned. I told him how I came across Liv’s blog. Gave him a quick synopsis so he would know where I was coming from, then told him I wanted to watch the video. We watched it. I hope you watch(ed) it. It changed our lives. It changed our perspective. We rushed around a bit more before hopping into the car and heading off to our interview. Matt reminded me on the way that we didn’t have to know exactly what we were doing and that is why we were going to the interview. Our interview went well. I cried some more… but you know what? That is ok. God is breaking my heart for children who are already born, living out their lives without knowing the love of a family. And hopefully, we will hear God’s call, according to his purpose for us, and everything will work together for our family’s good. Please lift us up as we ask and seek what his purpose is for us in adoption! You can visit our adoption page here. Please share the page with your friends, coworkers, neighbors, anyone you know!