The hardest part about adoption is...

The money is probably the smallest part of my daily struggle with our adoption. I am not sure if that is because we have AWESOME friends and family who have already supported us beyond what we could have imagined or because God has promised to provide what is needed or because I have an amazing team of women who are brainstorming, organizing and fundraising with me. Maybe it is just all of the above. When I think of the HUGE amount all at once it is overwhelming. But I am pretty sure on a daily basis, money is not what the struggle is. Here are the top 10 things that are HARD about adoption. I think they could be true of adoption through foster care, domestic or international. What do you think?

10. Wondering who they are? Will they be younger or older than Foster? Will they like to cook in the kitchen with mommy and daddy as much as their brothers do? Will they love having people over and inviting people in? 

9. Hearing nothing. Waiting on the government to make decisions...seriously hard. Waiting on agencies. Waiting. Thankful for a God who is faithful- who will not delay.

8. Hearing about corruption. Wanting to be able to do something. Wanting desperately to NOT contribute to it. Wanting to help create income for families who would parent their children if they just had resources to do so. Not knowing what to do. Feeling like we are just one family, what can we do? Asking God to show us how we can be used by him to help others.

7. Wondering who tucked your babies in tonight. Wondering if they cried and no one noticed. Wondering if they needed their nose wiped and no one did. Wondering if there was a Band-aid for the scrape on their knee

6. Watching my home-grown kids reach new milestones, knowing we are missing our heart-grown kids' milestones too.

5. Asking- the money itself doesn't seem to worry me...Asking people to help is MUCH, MUCH harder than then number itself. 

4. Holidays- hard when you have lost someone but also as hard when you are missing someone. Feeling like your celebrations are not complete because their are people missing in those memories.

3. Hearing my home-grown kids talk about their "brothers and sisters" and wondering when they will be able to know them. Asking when do we get to pick them up. When do we get to play with them.

2. Thinking about my heart-grown kids and wondering what they are doing. Are they playing or sleeping or eating or learning? Are they caring for other people? Are they wondering about their first mommy and what she was like? Do they think about having a family to call their own?

1. Waiting for the day I will finally get to hold them and love them. Welcome them into our family and help them become a part of us. 

The whole waiting thing is just plain hard...BUT I am sure that just like holding your newborn for the first time (and in adoption sometimes this part comes so much father down the road), the first time our kids say "I love you mommy and daddy," that moment will make time stand still and all of the waiting, in that moment, will somehow all be worth it. 

Sharing some pictures that the lovely Linda Bainter at Lovin' the Light Photography did for us. I just LOVE the way they turned out. She always seems to capture more than just photos...PERSONALITIES too!!!