Thursday, January 31, 2013


I guess I didn't realize what waiting for your child to come home would feel like...Everyday (and we have just started the process) I can't help but feel like there are "littles" missing from our lives. The next part of the story from the day of our interview goes a little like this...

Thankfully, Pam and Dave were here to watch Noah, Foster and Lucas (a little boy, born the same day as Foster, I call my "adopted during the day son"- I am providing daycare for him) during our interview. When I got back, it was off to rush to LEGO class. Thanks to good friends Krystle Williams and Michelle Fairrow for organizing and putting it together. My mom called on the way and I told her as much as you know from reading the last post. When I told her about Liv's blog and that I thought we were going to investigate further adoption of something other than a "healthy domestic infant" she shared with me that she knew we were "going to adopt from Africa." I quickly said, "well that is strange because I do not want to go to Africa." Fast forward a few more hours. We were off to a Gator Gymnastics meet for Noah and his Cub Scout Den to go to. I briefly talked to someone else and she said, "I know this is going to sound strange, but when I was reading a post Liv did the other day, I had a strong feeling 'That is Ashley's baby.'" She was talking about a little girl whose mom died and she and her brother were abandoned by the rest of their family. This is a post from Liv's FB wall about the children, made by someone else, "These two children are the ones whose mother recently died and the extended family will not take. It is thought the father beat the mother when she arrived to tell him she became "born again". She suffered from chest problems which may have been caused by the father's abuse." Derrick and Peace are their names. They are thought to be about 4yrs and 2 yrs.
I don't know why those two thoughts from those two people were shared with me that day. Maybe God just wanted to move our hearts off of our plan and onto his. Maybe it isn't about Peace and Derrick at all. I just can't help but think about what the six (me and 4 boys- Noah, Derrick, Lucas and Foster- and Peace) would be doing during the day, while Matt is at work. How the two of them would fit into our family. The bunk beds the boys could share, how Foster would become a big brother and love on his little sister. How Noah would be the "leader of the pack" and how much fun he would have teach Derrick about loving to read and drive and play board games. How much fun they would have chasing each other through the house and around the yard. The games our first two would learn from Derrick and Peace and their way of life in Uganda. How I could tell them stories about them being rescued because they have a Father in Heaven that cares more about them than anyone on this earth ever could and how their birth mom also, obviously, loved them. And how she loved Jesus too, and that they would get to see her again someday. I can imagine the stories we would read and learn about Uganda and I can also imagine taking them back to Uganda to visit their roots. And to know that even though we live half way around the world, there will always be a part of them there and that they should feel special for that. But most of all, I can imagine holding all my babies, and having them squeeze into my lap, to read a book or pile in the hammock for some cuddles. I know those are super romanticized dreams...and most days wouldn't be so serene. Our lives would be crazy and there would be really hard days. But, I figure when you are family as long as you have each other, you really have everything. You can see Derrick and Peace here. I hope you will take the time to look at their beautiful faces and pray for them and for us. And for the staff at Okoa, no matter what children we end up adopting!

Saturday, January 26, 2013


So, I know I am so inconsistent in posting. I do have pics etc that I want to upload. In fact, here are a few...

Foster eating his apple...I think this was his first whole apple experience and as you can tell, he loved it!

The boys playing in the leaves with the neigbors.

Which brings me to this pic...This was our gift from Pam and Dave for Christmas! SO perfect!

We had our first adoption interview yesterday!!! Here are a few more details about how it went...

Our interview went well, but much has changed in the last 24 hours that I wanted to update everyone. Last night I could not sleep. It was like the night before that big exam, or presentation in school, and you have the jitters and all you can think about is tomorrow and your mind won’t rest -or the night before Christmas- or a trip to Disney World. You are so excited thinking about the things that are to come that you can’t stop thinking about tomorrow. Or maybe I am the only one who that ever happens to… Anyway, I was having a hard time sleeping when I happened upon my sister’s friend’s blog. I read the most recent post about her son. Take a minute to read her post here. Go ahead, I’ll wait. My heart broke when I read about Liv’s son and knowing there are so many orphans here on this earth, that are going through this life without a mommy or a daddy. Without a family to call their own. I couldn’t get his beautiful smile out of my head.

Because I was so moved, naturally I read the next post. Again, go read it. I can wait... Since Matt was sleeping in the bed next to me, I didn’t watch the video posted at the end because I didn’t want to wake him. My heart was hurting for orphans. I went to my bible reading and the first verse I read was “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 NLT. Wow…really? Did I just read what I think I just read?

With the lights out, I laid in bed and still could not get Gideon’s huge smile out of my head. I think many of us would have thought of Gideon as “unadoptable” given his “condition.” But I think God was using Gideon to get to me. The next morning, I couldn’t get my words out before the tears started to flow. We were rushing to get ready but I told Matt that I wasn’t sure we would be adopting a “perfect” little infant like we had planned. I told him how I came across Liv’s blog. Gave him a quick synopsis so he would know where I was coming from, then told him I wanted to watch the video. We watched it. I hope you watch(ed) it. It changed our lives. It changed our perspective. We rushed around a bit more before hopping into the car and heading off to our interview. Matt reminded me on the way that we didn’t have to know exactly what we were doing and that is why we were going to the interview. Our interview went well. I cried some more… but you know what? That is ok. God is breaking my heart for children who are already born, living out their lives without knowing the love of a family. And hopefully, we will hear God’s call, according to his purpose for us, and everything will work together for our family’s good. Please lift us up as we ask and seek what his purpose is for us in adoption! You can visit our adoption page here. Please share the page with your friends, coworkers, neighbors, anyone you know!